Feeling Bad to See the Good
Since leaving my 9-5 corporate role, I’ve been an entrepreneur for a few years. When I first started out on my journey I spoke to many entrepreneurs and small business owners who told me that if I like what I’m doing, helping others solve problems and if there’s a market for what I have to offer - I need to manage to stay in business for 3 to 5 years. I was warned to realistically report a loss at least during my first few years in business.
While I understood that this was statistically the reality for many freelancers, I thought I would be different because I didn’t have a brick-and-mortar storefront. My assumptions were wrong! Even though I was very mindful to keep my operations lean (it’s just me, myself and I), there were still unexpected costs and the ebbs and flows of the workflow didn’t help either. I needed to get used to the waves of income over the months and accept the fact that some months would yield less income. There were days when I felt down about myself when I thought I should be further along in my business than where I was.
Despite days where I doubted the path that I’m on, I wouldn’t trade the tidal waves that I’m on for anything else. Don’t get me wrong, there were days I felt so miserable I couldn’t get out of bed. While I’m grateful to my network for sending me opportunities that fit my professional background, these gestures only heightened my self-doubt.
At one point I was feeling so anxious, lost, and overwhelmed with the uncertainty that surrounded me, I had a mini-meltdown on my way to a bike ride. Biking is supposed to help me feel free but I was far from being relaxed. I had to hold it together and put on a brave face in front of my friends as I tried to understand my breakdown so that I could focus on making some much-needed changes.
As a learning and development professional, it’s easy for me to recognize when others are uncomfortable, being stretched, and challenged outside of their regular routines. Even though I’ve gone through the transition of 5 different careers, it still doesn’t make the process any easier.
I was doing too many things and I felt so overwhelmed. I got sick and was in bed with a fever. My body had enough and my brain finally clued in and said, “this is not working and we need to make some changes”. In efforts to create a sustainable ideal portfolio career, I slowly let go of work that I no longer wanted to do. I had to change my money mindset and let go of a lot of guilt that I was still hanging onto. In making these changes in my life I noticed that I was working with more of my ideal clients and developing content to serve them.
When I want something bad enough, I’m not willing to compromise the flexibility I have in my schedule to spend with my family. I’m willing to tolerate uneasy feelings that I’m forced to face.
I met up with my mentor recently who said “you are undeniably the one person that I know who follows their dream … all of your persistence and patience is paying off. Enjoy the freedom and choices your approach brings and I know others will love your coaching!!”.
I can see all the seeds that I’ve planted over the last few years finally taking shape and it feels great to be doing work that I love on my own terms.
So grateful to those who have supported me over the years. The new relationships that I’ve developed wouldn’t have materialized if I hadn’t taken a risk away from my corporate path.
What career decisions are you thinking about? Here are some resources to help you figure things out and make some progress: